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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Meeting the Older Kids

On Thursday we met the older kids for the first time.  For the purposes of the blog, we have decided to nickname them "Game Boy" and "Giggles."  It was a good meeting.

When we arrived at the orphanage, the Director was in a meeting.  So we sat in a waiting area for about an hour waiting for her to finish.  The Director called us in.  It was a very different meeting from the one with Thumbelina's director.  She called the kids in right away to tell them why we were there and that we had already met Thumbelina.  The kids asked how she was doing and were told that she is walking and talking and healthy (they have not seen her in a couple of years perhaps).  Both kids smiled and were pleased.  Then the director told them that they would spend some time with us.  She told the boy that he would have to make a choice about us, if he wanted to be in our family.  Then she sent us out.

We walked to another building to a private room that appeared to be part of the dining facility (tables and chairs with a couple of couches along one wall). 

Game Boy is 11 years old, but he thinks he was born in 1999 and is 12.  Our papers say January 2000, but he insists that he is 12 (point of pride with him).  He is small for his age - smaller than Vivian - but he walks like a little man and clearly feels a manly responsibility for his sisters.  He has dark hair kept short, an expressive face, olive green eyes, and a nice smile.  He was wearing a blue Phineas and Ferb t-shirt and camo pants with holes in the knees.  His English is really quite good - much better than we even expected - and he is eager to show us what he knows.  Mostly he knows nouns but is not fluent by any means.  He also understands more than he speaks.

Giggles is 6-1/2 years old, born June 1994.  She is also small for her age.  She was wearing a 2T Gymboree swing top (over another shirt), but is was definitely too small for her.  She looks about 4-1/2 instead of 6-1/2.    Game Boy says she is spoiled.  When he's had enough of her he just brushes her aside and goes on with what he's doing.  She persists with him for a while and then turns to other activities.  Giggles has light brown hair, dark brown eyes, a ready smile, and expressive eyebrows.  She also knows some English - mostly to be silly.

Giggles is a little actress who clearly enjoys life and, yes, giggles A LOT!  What she lacks in stature, she makes up for with smiles and silliness.  She enjoyed calling us by each other's names, purposely mixing us up. She showed off her English skills with, "Mama, nooooooo!" and "Papa, stoppppp!"  when we weren't even doing anything.  At one point, she knelt on my lap, put her mouth near my ear and said, "(Giggles) eat!"  I did not catch it the first time (thought she was speaking Russian, quite honestly, because she spoke so softly), so she did it again a little louder.  I missed it again, so she did it a little louder still.  Finally, I got it.  I put her off for a little while, because I didn't know if it was a good time to give her something.  Since we didn't have a snack, I split a granola bar (from my stash in my purse) between her and Game Boy.

We got out Vivian's camera to take some pictures.  Giggles got ahold of the camera and started taking pictures of everyone and everything.  Her bossy side emerged as she tried to get each of us to comply with her compositions.  We have some very funny pictures to be sure.  She also put on MY coat and walked around.  I took pictures of that, because it was so funny to see such a little person in such a big coat.  Once we can post pictures of the kids, I will be sure to include some of her in my coat.

Something else that impressed me about Giggles is her coordination.  She is very strong and flexible and would likely be a good gymnast.  She has little fear of falling, and seems to have good awareness of where her body is in space.  She climbed all over me all the while saying, "Oh, Mama!" (like I'm the silly one!) or "Mama, stop it!" without me doing anything at all.

During our meeting, Zhenia told them again why we were there and asked if they had any questions.  Giggles just wanted to play and be silly.  Game Boy started asking about "stuff" like game boys (hence the nickname), play station, TVs, cell phones, etc.  Definitely a technology kid.  

At this point we knew that Game Boy had been to the States in a hosting program, so we answered his questions as best we could wanting to reassure him that we have some of those things that he associates with the States.  However, it quickly became evident that he was comparing our answers with what he had experienced.  Then he said that the host family had promised to adopt him and that they were coming for him. That's when we knew that we were essentially in a bidding war for him - in his mind.  Cliff and I looked at each other and silently agreed to stop bidding.

We talked of other things.  Game Boy asked what his name would be if he came to live with us.  We told him he could keep his name or we could decide together on a new name.  We told him some names we were considering.  He asked about a specific name that we did not recognize at first.  Then Cliff realized that he was talking about the pro wrestler John Cena.  Cliff grew up watching wrestling with HIS dad, so he has some knowledge in the area.  I was clueless.  So they talked a bit of wrestling.  Apparently, he watched wrestling with the host family.

Game Boy also asked about brothers.  We told him that we have a lot of boy cousins but no brothers for him.  He was a bit disappointed.  With the host family he had big brothers.

We have a cute picture (taken by Giggles) of Game Boy with his head on Cliff's knee.  At another point he got up from the couch where he was sitting between Emma and Vivian and ran and jumped in Cliff's lap and gave him a big bear hug.  He even referred to us as Mama and Papa.

You are probably beginning to sense a theme with Game Boy.  He is comparing what he knows and has experienced with what is standing in front of him.  Zhenia talked with him a lot about this other family and about us.  And Zhenia even left us with the kids for about 45 min to try to find out more about Game Boy's hosting experience. When we left, Game Boy said he likes us and wants to go home with us, but we could sense that he was still struggling mightily.

So what started out exciting ended rather less promising than we hoped.  We had been told that both children were ready to be adopted which is true.  What we were not told was that this host family was more involved than first appeared.  When we left, after visiting for about 3-1/2 hours, we did not know whether the "promise"  from this family was real or only a hope on Game Boy's part.  Clearly he was having a difficult time.  And while he said "yes" to us, it did not feel completely genuine.  So we left not really knowing whether we will have a successful adoption or not.

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