Yesterday was our third visit. We didn't quite know what to expect. We asked Zhenia if he would hang back and just act as interpreter rather than taking an active role, and he agreed. I wanted it this way, because I didn't want it to appear that WE were trying to influence Game Boy in the same way as the teacher. I wanted him to see US and experience US and not have to be talked into anything. If he still chose to stay and wait for the other family, it would be his decision and not us pushing through Zhenia. (BTW - we never asked Zhenia to push, but I could see how it might be interpreted that way.)
What a different visit! Both kids were active and engaged. Game Boy initiated some wrestling with Cliff. Giggles was her usual silly self. We had forgotten our backpack with the coloring books, mini-soccer ball, and snacks, so we were all they had to play with.
We got a treat of being allowed to visit in the room where Giggles sleeps. She shares the room with nine other girls around her age. There is an outer room where they had a table set with snacks. Also they have a shower and toilet in separate rooms. When we arrived, Giggles had just had a shower, so her hair was up in a stocking cap to keep her from catching cold.
Game Boy told us that he wants to be a builder when he grows up. Not an architect. He wants to build. He likes math and computers. He even asked the girls some math problems using his English skills. He also studies English, Ukrainian literature, Russian history, and Ethics. He plays soccer (futbol) and likes wrestling and video/computer games. He has seen the Lord of the Rings movies and liked them. He has seen Harry Potter but didn't like it very much. He lprefers battle stories. Cliff asked if he had read Three Musketeers, and he said he had seen the movie and liked it.
Giggles is not in school yet. Here they start at age 7. They go to school about 4 hours a day. She should be in an orphanage for younger children, but the officials did not want to separate Giggles from Game Boy. She is clearly smart, though, and is doing something like preschool. She does recognize her name written in Russian, so I assume some familiarity with the Cyrillic alphabet. She counts quite well in English. She even brought in a matching game to play with Cliff.
One of the best things about this visit was getting to meet and talk with Giggles' caregiver. She is very kind and likes Giggles very much. She says she is a good girl, an actress, smart and kind.
I can't tell you how different this visit was! And we don't know what made the difference. Cliff and I had decided that we would just relax and see where things went. And they went well.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Second Meeting with Older Kids
The next day we had another meeting with the children. This time we were in the same building as before but in an open area where other kids would walk by on their way somewhere else. I must admit that none of us slept well the night before, and we were all a bit subdued after the previous meeting.
Game Boy brought picture albums of his trips to the States. As it turns out, he has been twice to the same family. He clearly had a wonderful time, and the family obviously enjoyed him. He told us all the things they did together. Giggles was with him for the second trip in December. We eventually figured out that they were visiting Minnesota (lotsa snow!)
Giggles was just the same. She seemed a little surprised to see us again so soon, but she quickly jumped on my lap and started the "Mama, noooo!" silliness of the previous day. She also showed us how she can do a cartwheel (pretty good one, too!). And of course she took over the camera again.
We colored with Giggles. She has proper grip and colors quite effectively. She didn't want to color. She wanted to be silly, but I got her to help me choose colors and before I knew it she took over and wouldn't let me color for a while.
Game Boy spent much of this meeting talking with Zhenia. They even disappeared together for a quite while to talk with one of his teachers and maybe even the director. Apparently this teacher went with Game Boy to the States, knows this other family, and keeps reminding him that they want to adopt him, they are coming for him, and he promised them. We also found out that the family sometimes calls to talk to him and that he was expecting a call that night. So we didn't see much of Game Boy and when we did see him, he wanted to play the racing game on Cliff's phone. He was friendly but more withdrawn than the night before.
Also in this area were two other families adopting kids. One family we didn't really interact with much; they were not there very long. The other family is Italian, and they are adopting a boy that Giggles knows well. Giggles and this boy were taking pictures of each other as they took pictures of each other. Very funny! Interestingly, this boy also went on the hosting program and had an American family interested in him, but he decided to go with the Italian family who came to Ukraine to see him.
After we left, Zhenia filled us in on the conversations that took place away from us. He told us about the teacher who seemed to him defensive and almost angry that Game Boy would even consider another family. This is Zhenia's impression. We were not there. The director did not know that the host family was interested in adopting Game Boy. SDA did not know that there was another family interested in Game Boy, because they have not filed a letter of intent. Legally we can pursue the adoption. So really we don't know what this other family told Game Boy or what they intend to do. We both feel terrible for them if they DO want to adopt him and just haven't gotten the paperwork done. But at the same time, what if they just like the idea and never produce any papers? And there he is waiting for something that will never happen when he could be with us?
This was a difficult meeting - partly because we spent so little time with Game Boy and partly because the time we did spend with him was him re-living his time with the other family. We are encouraged by his clear ability to bond quickly, and we enjoyed the lively descriptions of his trip and the family. We understand, but it is still hard.
So this is why I posted the prayer request at Urgent Prayer Needed.
Game Boy brought picture albums of his trips to the States. As it turns out, he has been twice to the same family. He clearly had a wonderful time, and the family obviously enjoyed him. He told us all the things they did together. Giggles was with him for the second trip in December. We eventually figured out that they were visiting Minnesota (lotsa snow!)
Giggles was just the same. She seemed a little surprised to see us again so soon, but she quickly jumped on my lap and started the "Mama, noooo!" silliness of the previous day. She also showed us how she can do a cartwheel (pretty good one, too!). And of course she took over the camera again.
We colored with Giggles. She has proper grip and colors quite effectively. She didn't want to color. She wanted to be silly, but I got her to help me choose colors and before I knew it she took over and wouldn't let me color for a while.
Game Boy spent much of this meeting talking with Zhenia. They even disappeared together for a quite while to talk with one of his teachers and maybe even the director. Apparently this teacher went with Game Boy to the States, knows this other family, and keeps reminding him that they want to adopt him, they are coming for him, and he promised them. We also found out that the family sometimes calls to talk to him and that he was expecting a call that night. So we didn't see much of Game Boy and when we did see him, he wanted to play the racing game on Cliff's phone. He was friendly but more withdrawn than the night before.
Also in this area were two other families adopting kids. One family we didn't really interact with much; they were not there very long. The other family is Italian, and they are adopting a boy that Giggles knows well. Giggles and this boy were taking pictures of each other as they took pictures of each other. Very funny! Interestingly, this boy also went on the hosting program and had an American family interested in him, but he decided to go with the Italian family who came to Ukraine to see him.
After we left, Zhenia filled us in on the conversations that took place away from us. He told us about the teacher who seemed to him defensive and almost angry that Game Boy would even consider another family. This is Zhenia's impression. We were not there. The director did not know that the host family was interested in adopting Game Boy. SDA did not know that there was another family interested in Game Boy, because they have not filed a letter of intent. Legally we can pursue the adoption. So really we don't know what this other family told Game Boy or what they intend to do. We both feel terrible for them if they DO want to adopt him and just haven't gotten the paperwork done. But at the same time, what if they just like the idea and never produce any papers? And there he is waiting for something that will never happen when he could be with us?
This was a difficult meeting - partly because we spent so little time with Game Boy and partly because the time we did spend with him was him re-living his time with the other family. We are encouraged by his clear ability to bond quickly, and we enjoyed the lively descriptions of his trip and the family. We understand, but it is still hard.
So this is why I posted the prayer request at Urgent Prayer Needed.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Meeting the Older Kids
On Thursday we met the older kids for the first time. For the purposes of the blog, we have decided to nickname them "Game Boy" and "Giggles." It was a good meeting.
When we arrived at the orphanage, the Director was in a meeting. So we sat in a waiting area for about an hour waiting for her to finish. The Director called us in. It was a very different meeting from the one with Thumbelina's director. She called the kids in right away to tell them why we were there and that we had already met Thumbelina. The kids asked how she was doing and were told that she is walking and talking and healthy (they have not seen her in a couple of years perhaps). Both kids smiled and were pleased. Then the director told them that they would spend some time with us. She told the boy that he would have to make a choice about us, if he wanted to be in our family. Then she sent us out.
We walked to another building to a private room that appeared to be part of the dining facility (tables and chairs with a couple of couches along one wall).
Game Boy is 11 years old, but he thinks he was born in 1999 and is 12. Our papers say January 2000, but he insists that he is 12 (point of pride with him). He is small for his age - smaller than Vivian - but he walks like a little man and clearly feels a manly responsibility for his sisters. He has dark hair kept short, an expressive face, olive green eyes, and a nice smile. He was wearing a blue Phineas and Ferb t-shirt and camo pants with holes in the knees. His English is really quite good - much better than we even expected - and he is eager to show us what he knows. Mostly he knows nouns but is not fluent by any means. He also understands more than he speaks.
Giggles is 6-1/2 years old, born June 1994. She is also small for her age. She was wearing a 2T Gymboree swing top (over another shirt), but is was definitely too small for her. She looks about 4-1/2 instead of 6-1/2. Game Boy says she is spoiled. When he's had enough of her he just brushes her aside and goes on with what he's doing. She persists with him for a while and then turns to other activities. Giggles has light brown hair, dark brown eyes, a ready smile, and expressive eyebrows. She also knows some English - mostly to be silly.
Giggles is a little actress who clearly enjoys life and, yes, giggles A LOT! What she lacks in stature, she makes up for with smiles and silliness. She enjoyed calling us by each other's names, purposely mixing us up. She showed off her English skills with, "Mama, nooooooo!" and "Papa, stoppppp!" when we weren't even doing anything. At one point, she knelt on my lap, put her mouth near my ear and said, "(Giggles) eat!" I did not catch it the first time (thought she was speaking Russian, quite honestly, because she spoke so softly), so she did it again a little louder. I missed it again, so she did it a little louder still. Finally, I got it. I put her off for a little while, because I didn't know if it was a good time to give her something. Since we didn't have a snack, I split a granola bar (from my stash in my purse) between her and Game Boy.
We got out Vivian's camera to take some pictures. Giggles got ahold of the camera and started taking pictures of everyone and everything. Her bossy side emerged as she tried to get each of us to comply with her compositions. We have some very funny pictures to be sure. She also put on MY coat and walked around. I took pictures of that, because it was so funny to see such a little person in such a big coat. Once we can post pictures of the kids, I will be sure to include some of her in my coat.
Something else that impressed me about Giggles is her coordination. She is very strong and flexible and would likely be a good gymnast. She has little fear of falling, and seems to have good awareness of where her body is in space. She climbed all over me all the while saying, "Oh, Mama!" (like I'm the silly one!) or "Mama, stop it!" without me doing anything at all.
At this point we knew that Game Boy had been to the States in a hosting program, so we answered his questions as best we could wanting to reassure him that we have some of those things that he associates with the States. However, it quickly became evident that he was comparing our answers with what he had experienced. Then he said that the host family had promised to adopt him and that they were coming for him. That's when we knew that we were essentially in a bidding war for him - in his mind. Cliff and I looked at each other and silently agreed to stop bidding.
We talked of other things. Game Boy asked what his name would be if he came to live with us. We told him he could keep his name or we could decide together on a new name. We told him some names we were considering. He asked about a specific name that we did not recognize at first. Then Cliff realized that he was talking about the pro wrestler John Cena. Cliff grew up watching wrestling with HIS dad, so he has some knowledge in the area. I was clueless. So they talked a bit of wrestling. Apparently, he watched wrestling with the host family.
Game Boy also asked about brothers. We told him that we have a lot of boy cousins but no brothers for him. He was a bit disappointed. With the host family he had big brothers.
We have a cute picture (taken by Giggles) of Game Boy with his head on Cliff's knee. At another point he got up from the couch where he was sitting between Emma and Vivian and ran and jumped in Cliff's lap and gave him a big bear hug. He even referred to us as Mama and Papa.
You are probably beginning to sense a theme with Game Boy. He is comparing what he knows and has experienced with what is standing in front of him. Zhenia talked with him a lot about this other family and about us. And Zhenia even left us with the kids for about 45 min to try to find out more about Game Boy's hosting experience. When we left, Game Boy said he likes us and wants to go home with us, but we could sense that he was still struggling mightily.
So what started out exciting ended rather less promising than we hoped. We had been told that both children were ready to be adopted which is true. What we were not told was that this host family was more involved than first appeared. When we left, after visiting for about 3-1/2 hours, we did not know whether the "promise" from this family was real or only a hope on Game Boy's part. Clearly he was having a difficult time. And while he said "yes" to us, it did not feel completely genuine. So we left not really knowing whether we will have a successful adoption or not.
When we arrived at the orphanage, the Director was in a meeting. So we sat in a waiting area for about an hour waiting for her to finish. The Director called us in. It was a very different meeting from the one with Thumbelina's director. She called the kids in right away to tell them why we were there and that we had already met Thumbelina. The kids asked how she was doing and were told that she is walking and talking and healthy (they have not seen her in a couple of years perhaps). Both kids smiled and were pleased. Then the director told them that they would spend some time with us. She told the boy that he would have to make a choice about us, if he wanted to be in our family. Then she sent us out.
We walked to another building to a private room that appeared to be part of the dining facility (tables and chairs with a couple of couches along one wall).
Game Boy is 11 years old, but he thinks he was born in 1999 and is 12. Our papers say January 2000, but he insists that he is 12 (point of pride with him). He is small for his age - smaller than Vivian - but he walks like a little man and clearly feels a manly responsibility for his sisters. He has dark hair kept short, an expressive face, olive green eyes, and a nice smile. He was wearing a blue Phineas and Ferb t-shirt and camo pants with holes in the knees. His English is really quite good - much better than we even expected - and he is eager to show us what he knows. Mostly he knows nouns but is not fluent by any means. He also understands more than he speaks.
Giggles is 6-1/2 years old, born June 1994. She is also small for her age. She was wearing a 2T Gymboree swing top (over another shirt), but is was definitely too small for her. She looks about 4-1/2 instead of 6-1/2. Game Boy says she is spoiled. When he's had enough of her he just brushes her aside and goes on with what he's doing. She persists with him for a while and then turns to other activities. Giggles has light brown hair, dark brown eyes, a ready smile, and expressive eyebrows. She also knows some English - mostly to be silly.
Giggles is a little actress who clearly enjoys life and, yes, giggles A LOT! What she lacks in stature, she makes up for with smiles and silliness. She enjoyed calling us by each other's names, purposely mixing us up. She showed off her English skills with, "Mama, nooooooo!" and "Papa, stoppppp!" when we weren't even doing anything. At one point, she knelt on my lap, put her mouth near my ear and said, "(Giggles) eat!" I did not catch it the first time (thought she was speaking Russian, quite honestly, because she spoke so softly), so she did it again a little louder. I missed it again, so she did it a little louder still. Finally, I got it. I put her off for a little while, because I didn't know if it was a good time to give her something. Since we didn't have a snack, I split a granola bar (from my stash in my purse) between her and Game Boy.
We got out Vivian's camera to take some pictures. Giggles got ahold of the camera and started taking pictures of everyone and everything. Her bossy side emerged as she tried to get each of us to comply with her compositions. We have some very funny pictures to be sure. She also put on MY coat and walked around. I took pictures of that, because it was so funny to see such a little person in such a big coat. Once we can post pictures of the kids, I will be sure to include some of her in my coat.
Something else that impressed me about Giggles is her coordination. She is very strong and flexible and would likely be a good gymnast. She has little fear of falling, and seems to have good awareness of where her body is in space. She climbed all over me all the while saying, "Oh, Mama!" (like I'm the silly one!) or "Mama, stop it!" without me doing anything at all.
During our meeting, Zhenia told them again why we were there and asked if they had any questions. Giggles just wanted to play and be silly. Game Boy started asking about "stuff" like game boys (hence the nickname), play station, TVs, cell phones, etc. Definitely a technology kid.
We talked of other things. Game Boy asked what his name would be if he came to live with us. We told him he could keep his name or we could decide together on a new name. We told him some names we were considering. He asked about a specific name that we did not recognize at first. Then Cliff realized that he was talking about the pro wrestler John Cena. Cliff grew up watching wrestling with HIS dad, so he has some knowledge in the area. I was clueless. So they talked a bit of wrestling. Apparently, he watched wrestling with the host family.
Game Boy also asked about brothers. We told him that we have a lot of boy cousins but no brothers for him. He was a bit disappointed. With the host family he had big brothers.
We have a cute picture (taken by Giggles) of Game Boy with his head on Cliff's knee. At another point he got up from the couch where he was sitting between Emma and Vivian and ran and jumped in Cliff's lap and gave him a big bear hug. He even referred to us as Mama and Papa.
You are probably beginning to sense a theme with Game Boy. He is comparing what he knows and has experienced with what is standing in front of him. Zhenia talked with him a lot about this other family and about us. And Zhenia even left us with the kids for about 45 min to try to find out more about Game Boy's hosting experience. When we left, Game Boy said he likes us and wants to go home with us, but we could sense that he was still struggling mightily.
So what started out exciting ended rather less promising than we hoped. We had been told that both children were ready to be adopted which is true. What we were not told was that this host family was more involved than first appeared. When we left, after visiting for about 3-1/2 hours, we did not know whether the "promise" from this family was real or only a hope on Game Boy's part. Clearly he was having a difficult time. And while he said "yes" to us, it did not feel completely genuine. So we left not really knowing whether we will have a successful adoption or not.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Urgent Prayer Needed
Yesterday we met the two older children. I will blog about the meeting later, I promise. But we have run into a snag and need prayer immediately.
We learned last week that the children had been part of a hosting program to the U.S., but we didn't have any details. We learned yesterday that the boy believes that the family that hosted him wants to adopt him and is coming for him, and he is confused and conflicted about what to do. He likes us. He likes that we want both of his sisters, too. He specifically asked about Thumbelina and was pleased to know that she is doing well. However, we were able to find out that there is no other family officially in process but that he has had communication from the family via phone calls since his time there in December. I'm sure some of this story is getting lost in translation.
Today at the end of our meeting he stated that he would inform the other family that he is being adopted by us but wants to keep in touch with them. However, one of his teachers (who traveled with him to the States) reminds him of the other family and how he promised them that they could adopt him and that they are coming to get him. Even though he was clear today after being with us, it is difficult for him because there are many adults "looking out for him" and giving him conflicting advice. He is only 11 years old and he gets to decide his future. This is an impossibly difficult situation for one so young.
Cliff and I are also in a horrible position. We don't want to "take" a child away from another family. But at the same time, we don't know for sure that they are really coming for him. We don't want to leave him here hoping that they will come and then have them NOT come. So do we pursue or do we not? He is a great kid, and we would be tremendously blessed by having him in our family.
We need prayer for clarity - for us and for him. We also need the well-meaning adults to stay out of it and to let God make His way clear for everyone involved.
We will continue to visit with both kids over the weekend. By Monday, we must all be clear on how we will proceed in order to finalize the paperwork.
We learned last week that the children had been part of a hosting program to the U.S., but we didn't have any details. We learned yesterday that the boy believes that the family that hosted him wants to adopt him and is coming for him, and he is confused and conflicted about what to do. He likes us. He likes that we want both of his sisters, too. He specifically asked about Thumbelina and was pleased to know that she is doing well. However, we were able to find out that there is no other family officially in process but that he has had communication from the family via phone calls since his time there in December. I'm sure some of this story is getting lost in translation.
Today at the end of our meeting he stated that he would inform the other family that he is being adopted by us but wants to keep in touch with them. However, one of his teachers (who traveled with him to the States) reminds him of the other family and how he promised them that they could adopt him and that they are coming to get him. Even though he was clear today after being with us, it is difficult for him because there are many adults "looking out for him" and giving him conflicting advice. He is only 11 years old and he gets to decide his future. This is an impossibly difficult situation for one so young.
Cliff and I are also in a horrible position. We don't want to "take" a child away from another family. But at the same time, we don't know for sure that they are really coming for him. We don't want to leave him here hoping that they will come and then have them NOT come. So do we pursue or do we not? He is a great kid, and we would be tremendously blessed by having him in our family.
We need prayer for clarity - for us and for him. We also need the well-meaning adults to stay out of it and to let God make His way clear for everyone involved.
We will continue to visit with both kids over the weekend. By Monday, we must all be clear on how we will proceed in order to finalize the paperwork.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Leaving for Izmyil
We leave for Izmyil in a couple of hours to meet the older kids. We will take an overnight train to Odessa (like the last trip) and then drive to Izmyil (about 4 hours south of Odessa).
Don't know what our internet capabilities will be, so we may be "quiet" for a while.
Prayer warriors: Please pray for our meetings tomorrow with the inspector, the orphanage director, and the kids. Also please pray that we receive our paperwork swiftly and accurately.
Until next time. . . .
Don't know what our internet capabilities will be, so we may be "quiet" for a while.
Prayer warriors: Please pray for our meetings tomorrow with the inspector, the orphanage director, and the kids. Also please pray that we receive our paperwork swiftly and accurately.
Until next time. . . .
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Impromptu Meeting at SDA
Not sure why we had to do this, but Zhenia called us about 3:45 to come immediately to the SDA office for a meeting. No big deal apparently. Just a formality before they issue our referral on the older kids.
So we pick up the referral tomorrow between 4 and 5pm. We will leave for Izmayil tomorrow night. Zhenia is trying to get us all the way there on the train. But it appears that the trains are less frequent, so we may go to Odessa and drive the 4+ hours to Izmayil. Won't know until tomorrow.
On the plus side, WE don't have to go back to SDA anymore (except to pick up the referral tomorrow).
So we pick up the referral tomorrow between 4 and 5pm. We will leave for Izmayil tomorrow night. Zhenia is trying to get us all the way there on the train. But it appears that the trains are less frequent, so we may go to Odessa and drive the 4+ hours to Izmayil. Won't know until tomorrow.
On the plus side, WE don't have to go back to SDA anymore (except to pick up the referral tomorrow).
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Meeting Our Youngest
Yesterday morning we arrived in Odessa about 9am after a 9-10 hour train ride from Kiev. Zhenia found our driver, and we set off for Bilhorod-Dnistrovs'kyy. The car was a Chevy Aveo for six people. This is a very little car. So the four of us crammed in the back seat with Vivian sitting on Cliff's lap for the 1-1/2 hour drive. She ended up lying across all of us. What an adventure!
I wanted to take some pictures along the way, but it is tough to get anything recognizable at 100-120km/hr. while dodging potholes. Our route took us across a bridge with a view of the Black Sea (something I've wanted to see). By 10:45 we were waiting for the inspector to give permission for us to visit the orphanage (without her, as she had a court appearance to make). Then by about 11:45 we were sitting in the orphanage director's office.
The director is a lovely woman who has been director for 16 years. She also has experience as speech therapist. She asked us a few questions about ourselves, commented on our lovely girls, and commenced to tell us about "Thumbelina." (not her real name, obviously, but we can't post that yet. Besides, it is similar to a Ukrainian nickname that they gave her).
Thumbelina had a VERY rough start in life. She arrived prematurely and suffered great neglect on the part of her mother. She was removed from the mother's custody and returned only to be removed again and hospitalized. She came to this orphanage in January of 2010 and since that time has progressed dramatically.
She is small due to her premature birth and the privation she suffered early on. She walks, runs, climbs, talks, repeats words, follows directions, has chosen her hand preference (right-handed), holds a pen well (not totally correctly, but well), colors, shows great ability to focus on her chosen activity, and even threw a (totally age-appropriate) tantrum for us when we tried to redirect her away from the books on the Director's bookcase.
Also because she is small and had such a rough start, she is spoiled. The Director mentioned that the other children in her groupa treat her like a little baby doll, and the staff spoil her as well. Clearly we will have some work to do on boundaries and acceptable behavior.
When Thumbelina entered the room, she bounded in and said, "Privet!" (pronounced "pree Vyet", meaning "Hi!") and ran straight to Cliff (he was sitting closest to the door). She was wearing a cream colored swing top and leggings that were actually knit (like knit 1, purl 1), multi-color socks and black cloth mary janes. Her blond curls were in 2 little ponytails held by white scrunchies that looked like clusters of white flowers. Her cheeks and nose were flushed from being brought in from the playground. Her blue eyes surveyed the room. She clearly understood that she was the subject of the meeting and the center of attention.
Cliff picked her up, and she smiled as she touched his nose, eyes, mouth. Then he took her over to the couch where our girls were sitting. Thumbelina climbed into Vivian's lap and inspected her. Then she crossed over Cliff to Emma and stood on her lap. She repeated their names when Cliff said them to her.
Finally, it was my turn. She came right to me. I picked her up (she's so tiny!) and put her on my lap. She saw my pen and picked it up and started coloring on my paper. She held the pen more or less correctly and was so engrossed in her work that we almost could not get her attention for anything else. The Director demonstrated Thumbelina's vocabulary by having her name a few objects. Then she showed her ability for language acquisition by having her repeat words she did not know. The Director, a former speech therapist, asked her to repeat the word for "turtle", and Thumbelina did so perfectly. Apparently it is a very difficult word in Russian. Both the Director and Zhenia were impressed. Zhenia also tested some English words. She did quite well repeating, and seemed willing to play the game.
That's when she went after the bookshelf. She saw a statue of a lamb and wanted it. We moved it, and she got upset. She was quite persistent, "screamed", refused to be distracted by the little teddy bear we had brought for her, ran around the room and finally let me distract her with the pen and paper again. By then it was lunch time for her, so we said good-bye. As she was leaving, she said, "Paka!" (Bye-Bye!)
Next we spoke with the orphanage doctor. She confirmed all the information we had gotten from the Director. The usual concerns with preemies (vision, hearing, heart, lungs, etc.) are normal, but she is delayed from lack of attention. Even though she is small, she has no neurological issues. She feeds herself, eats everything they offer, has no food allergies, and toilets by herself but still uses a diaper at night (orphanage convenience). Additionally, she handles medical exams and shots well and has had chicken pox (Zhenia called it "chicken pie") and handled that illness well, too.
After the doctor left, the Director called the orphanage director where the older kids are living. We had mentioned to the Director that we were planning to meet with the other kids today (3 hour drive away), she informed us that she was good friends with the other Director and would make a call on our behalf. She found out that both kids have participated in a hosting program (orphans go to the U.S. for a few weeks to experience American culture) and both children want to be adopted. Both kids are smart, healthy and well liked, and the Director is eagerly awaiting our visit. Additionally, the boy remembers his baby sister. The girl was too young when they were removed from the home to remember the baby.
This information was important to us. We were concerned that given his age the boy might refuse the opportunity for adoption. We also now know that the older two may have some English language understanding/speaking ability. And it is good that at least the boy remembers the little one. And because of the call and the information she received, we didn't have to spend an extra 6 hours in that itty bitty car. (Zhenia is trying to arrange a larger car when we return next week).
By 1:30 we finished at the orphanage, got lunch, did some paperwork (until 4:30) and headed back to Odessa to catch a train back to Kiev. As the train did not leave until 11:25pm, we got burgers at McD's and found a warm place to wait the 5 hours or so for the train.
I wanted to take some pictures along the way, but it is tough to get anything recognizable at 100-120km/hr. while dodging potholes. Our route took us across a bridge with a view of the Black Sea (something I've wanted to see). By 10:45 we were waiting for the inspector to give permission for us to visit the orphanage (without her, as she had a court appearance to make). Then by about 11:45 we were sitting in the orphanage director's office.
The director is a lovely woman who has been director for 16 years. She also has experience as speech therapist. She asked us a few questions about ourselves, commented on our lovely girls, and commenced to tell us about "Thumbelina." (not her real name, obviously, but we can't post that yet. Besides, it is similar to a Ukrainian nickname that they gave her).
Thumbelina had a VERY rough start in life. She arrived prematurely and suffered great neglect on the part of her mother. She was removed from the mother's custody and returned only to be removed again and hospitalized. She came to this orphanage in January of 2010 and since that time has progressed dramatically.
She is small due to her premature birth and the privation she suffered early on. She walks, runs, climbs, talks, repeats words, follows directions, has chosen her hand preference (right-handed), holds a pen well (not totally correctly, but well), colors, shows great ability to focus on her chosen activity, and even threw a (totally age-appropriate) tantrum for us when we tried to redirect her away from the books on the Director's bookcase.
Also because she is small and had such a rough start, she is spoiled. The Director mentioned that the other children in her groupa treat her like a little baby doll, and the staff spoil her as well. Clearly we will have some work to do on boundaries and acceptable behavior.
When Thumbelina entered the room, she bounded in and said, "Privet!" (pronounced "pree Vyet", meaning "Hi!") and ran straight to Cliff (he was sitting closest to the door). She was wearing a cream colored swing top and leggings that were actually knit (like knit 1, purl 1), multi-color socks and black cloth mary janes. Her blond curls were in 2 little ponytails held by white scrunchies that looked like clusters of white flowers. Her cheeks and nose were flushed from being brought in from the playground. Her blue eyes surveyed the room. She clearly understood that she was the subject of the meeting and the center of attention.
Cliff picked her up, and she smiled as she touched his nose, eyes, mouth. Then he took her over to the couch where our girls were sitting. Thumbelina climbed into Vivian's lap and inspected her. Then she crossed over Cliff to Emma and stood on her lap. She repeated their names when Cliff said them to her.
Finally, it was my turn. She came right to me. I picked her up (she's so tiny!) and put her on my lap. She saw my pen and picked it up and started coloring on my paper. She held the pen more or less correctly and was so engrossed in her work that we almost could not get her attention for anything else. The Director demonstrated Thumbelina's vocabulary by having her name a few objects. Then she showed her ability for language acquisition by having her repeat words she did not know. The Director, a former speech therapist, asked her to repeat the word for "turtle", and Thumbelina did so perfectly. Apparently it is a very difficult word in Russian. Both the Director and Zhenia were impressed. Zhenia also tested some English words. She did quite well repeating, and seemed willing to play the game.
That's when she went after the bookshelf. She saw a statue of a lamb and wanted it. We moved it, and she got upset. She was quite persistent, "screamed", refused to be distracted by the little teddy bear we had brought for her, ran around the room and finally let me distract her with the pen and paper again. By then it was lunch time for her, so we said good-bye. As she was leaving, she said, "Paka!" (Bye-Bye!)
Next we spoke with the orphanage doctor. She confirmed all the information we had gotten from the Director. The usual concerns with preemies (vision, hearing, heart, lungs, etc.) are normal, but she is delayed from lack of attention. Even though she is small, she has no neurological issues. She feeds herself, eats everything they offer, has no food allergies, and toilets by herself but still uses a diaper at night (orphanage convenience). Additionally, she handles medical exams and shots well and has had chicken pox (Zhenia called it "chicken pie") and handled that illness well, too.
After the doctor left, the Director called the orphanage director where the older kids are living. We had mentioned to the Director that we were planning to meet with the other kids today (3 hour drive away), she informed us that she was good friends with the other Director and would make a call on our behalf. She found out that both kids have participated in a hosting program (orphans go to the U.S. for a few weeks to experience American culture) and both children want to be adopted. Both kids are smart, healthy and well liked, and the Director is eagerly awaiting our visit. Additionally, the boy remembers his baby sister. The girl was too young when they were removed from the home to remember the baby.
This information was important to us. We were concerned that given his age the boy might refuse the opportunity for adoption. We also now know that the older two may have some English language understanding/speaking ability. And it is good that at least the boy remembers the little one. And because of the call and the information she received, we didn't have to spend an extra 6 hours in that itty bitty car. (Zhenia is trying to arrange a larger car when we return next week).
By 1:30 we finished at the orphanage, got lunch, did some paperwork (until 4:30) and headed back to Odessa to catch a train back to Kiev. As the train did not leave until 11:25pm, we got burgers at McD's and found a warm place to wait the 5 hours or so for the train.
The Big Reveal
I know you've been wondering about the details from our second appointment. So . . .
Bus driver! Move! That! Bus!
The file brought to us at our second appointment (the one we weren't supposed to see) was a sibling group - 2 girls and a boy. All are healthy. At first we didn't consider them seriously, because our paperwork is for 2 children, either gender, from 3-7 years old. We were not qualified for them. But the more we looked, the more we became convinced that this was our match. In particular, our girls perked up at this file and showed more interest than they had at any other point in the process.
The youngest is a girl, 3-1/2 years old. She is in an orphanage in Bilhorod-Dnistrovs'kyy (about 1-1/2 hours south of Odessa). She is very small for her age, and a favorite of the staff there.
Next is a 6 year old girl. She is in a different orphanage - we think in Izmayil, about 3 hours away from the youngest. She is also a favorite with her staff.
And finally, an 11 year old boy. He is in the same orphanage as the 6 year old girl. He is "good boy" according to our facilitator, and well liked.
Because our paperwork did not qualify us for this match, we had to request a homestudy update from our social worker in the States. That paper had to be authenticated by the State and then sent to our facilitator in Kiev. Separately, we must arrange with USCIS (immigration) to bring 3 children home instead of 1 or 2.
All of that gave us a week+ of vacation in Kiev while we waited for the paperwork to arrive.
Yesterday we went to Bilhorod-Dnistrovs'kyy to meet the youngest (separate post). SDA gave us permission to visit her while we wait for the paperwork to process for a referral to see the other two. This also took all three kids off the "available" list. We should have that referral on Tuesday or Wednesday. Then it is back to Odessa region.
Please know that we firmly believe that your prayer support contributed greatly to the outcome of that second appointment. Many, many things happened there that we attribute directly to the intervention of prayer.
That said, please continue to pray for our USCIS paperwork to clear. For our referral for the older kids to come sooner rather than later. For our next trip to the region to meet the older kids. For paperwork to go smoothly. For a quick court date. And for us as we are away from home, friends and family for at least another 2 weeks or so.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Correction to "Good News!"
No worries. Still good news.
Change of plans:
Traveling to Odessa region tonight to go to orphanage tomorrow.
Traveling BACK to Kiev tomorrow night.
Weekend in Kiev.
More waiting for paperwork in Kiev.
Eventually travel back to region.
I promise I'll tell you WHY we have to do all this! Look for a new post on Saturday. We will be very busy tomorrow.
Good News!
Praise God! The document came 1 day earlier than expected!!! Now we get it turned in to SDA today and get our referral paper tomorrow. The plan outlined in the previous post is in place.
Keep praying!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Timeline Update
We still have no confirmation from FedEx that the document we need is on the way. Apparently they are having problems with their system. Everything is running normally, but they can't tell some customers where their packages are en route. Apparently we are one of those customers. So assuming the estimate was right that the paperwork will be here Friday, this is the current plan (subject to change).
Friday, paperwork arrives, gets translated, and is submitted to SDA. Facilitator will push for referral on same day.
Sunday, travel overnight to region
Monday, meet with Inspector and go to orphanage.
If the paperwork is late, we shift the timeline accordingly.
Celebrating a Birthday
Monday was Cliff's birthday. After some recon in the area, we decided to go out to dinner. There is a Hyatt hotel at the top of our street (across the plaza from St. Sophia), and an Intercontinental Hotel adjacent to St. Michael's. Both have restaurants. Then in the afternoon, Cliff and Vivian went on an "adventure" and came back with the location of another market (yea!) and a TGI Friday's.
Before we could go to dinner, we had to check in with the Texas Secretary of State about our paperwork. The snowstorm last week in Texas delayed our paperwork, so we needed to know when it would be done and sent to us here. Fortunately, my brother works close to the SOS office and agreed to be our representative. After several phone calls and emails, my brother got the SOS to authenticate our document and send it that day. (Just so you know, this was no easy feat and took several hours to accomplish. He is my hero!) With the time difference between here and there, we started working on it about 5pm here and finished about 11pm. So we didn't get to go to dinner. Cliff and Vivian made our dinner (while I dealt with paperwork) - chicken. Again.
In the middle of the paperwork ordeal, we had a bit of an emotional breakdown on our side. There was a point that it looked like we could not get the paperwork here in time to save the adoption and that we would have to come home with no child. And we're all tired of being here just waiting and waiting. The stress and uncertainty got to us all. But we talked about it, prayed about it, and slowly things started to look up. By the end of the evening we had learned that the document was authenticated and waiting to be picked up by FedEx.
So we celebrated Cliff's birthday on Tuesday night with dinner at TGI Friday's. THAT was an experience! Haven't eaten in a restaurant with a smoking section in a LONG time. Our waitress spoke fairly good English, so we didn't have any problems there. Burgers and fries were good but salty. Cliff got beef fajitas that were actually a bit sweet and not much like Tex-Mex fajitas. Topped off the meal with a hot fudge sundae for the table. Dinner for 4 cost about $63.
Happy Birthday, Cliff!
Monday, February 7, 2011
A Movie Set in Downtown Kiev??
Yes, a movie set in downtown Kiev!
On Friday, Cliff and I were out for a quick walk around the block and stumbled across a movie set on the plaza in front of St. Sophia. We watched for a little while. It appears to be a period piece involving the funeral of a hero and murder of a politician (perhaps).
The Friday scene focused on the funeral procession as you can see from the first slideshow.
On Sunday we got out again with the girls, and the movie set was still active. This time the focus was on the grandstand where a politician (?) was speaking and was then struck down by a soldier on horseback. Very dramatic. Even after they did it 8 times.
We walked from St. Sophia to St. Michael's and explored the area around St. Michael's. We joked that we were going back to SDA, as St. Michael's is on the way. Inside the grounds we found a fountain (?) where people were taking coins out of their pockets, getting them wet, and sticking them on these metal knobs. (There was also an old lady collecting the coins from the water after they fell off). Don't know whether this was for good luck (like making a wish and tossing a coin in a fountain) or for some other reason. I wanted to get a picture of Vivian trying it, but she couldn't reach the knob. So Emma tried but couldn't get the coin to stick. I tried and it stuck.
Then we walked around to the front of the actual church. We couldn't go in, because we were not dressed appropriately. Women much cover their heads to enter. Even though we all have hoods on our coats, we needed scarves instead. We may try again another time.
Behind St. Michael's is an overlook of the Dnieper River that runs through Kiev. We walked along there, then back to the street, down the hill to the market and back to the flat.
Nice way to spend 2 hours outside in partly cloudy, +5C weather.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Second Appointment Report
All right, Prayer Warriors! You....Are....AWESOME!!!
The appointment was definitely much like the last in some ways. Disappointingly this time every file we saw had some serious issues. We're talking HIV positive, hepatitis C, cerebral palsy, significant language and mental delays. Just as we were thinking we would have to apply for a third appointment, the administrator working with us got up and got another file. It looks very promising, but it is very different from what we thought we would accept. It also requires some additional paperwork from the States which will cause a delay until we can get the paper in hand.
There is a lot more to this story which I will share later. We still face many obstacles, so this is definitely not a done deal yet. We need to get the paper first to even know if we can proceed. Should this not work, we still have the third appointment as an option.
For now, we continue to wait in Kiev. Just know that your support is more effective than you know, and I look forward to giving you the details when they all work out.
In the meantime, continue to pray that we can get the paper we need, that FedEx is working at peak efficiency to get it here quickly, and that the other details we need will come through. Pray for continued favor with SDA. And pray for us to find things to occupy our additional time in Kiev while we wait.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Second appointment set
Calling all Prayer Warriors!
Battle formation! And get your prayer on!
This should go like the first appointment. We will have 1 hour to look at files and make our selection. If we don't find a child at this appointment, we still have one more chance. Zhenia says it doesn't take as long to get a third appointment. Praying we won't need a third!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Time Difference
The time difference between Ukraine and home is really difficult. When we are getting up in the morning, our friends and family are going to bed. When day breaks at home it is mid-afternoon here. And when we are ready to go to bed, our friends and family are in the middle of their day. That leaves only a few hours a day to contact anyone in real-time.
I have had a few online chats with my mom and with one of my brothers which helps me to feel connected to the outside world. In our period of "down time" right now we all feel a bit adrift, and being able to "talk" to friends and family helps a lot.
Cliff rather likes the time difference. He gets up in the morning and takes care of all his work emails, etc. while no one is in the office. Then he checks in periodically throughout the day just in case there's something that needs attention during the work day.
What we don't know right now is what our communication opportunities will be like outside of Kiev. Phone calls are expensive, so internet is our best tool. But internet could be limited once we're out of Kiev.
Thank you to all you readers who comment whether here or on facebook. You keep us from getting lonely.
Weather
Ever since we got here, the sky has been any of a variety of shades of gray. We have snow on the ground but no new snow since Tuesday. Temperature, as best we gather, has ranged from about -7C to +2C (That's about 18F - 35F). We have been told that -15C to -23C (+5F to -10F) is not unusual for February. Can't wait! NOT!
The weather in the first region we visited seemed slightly colder than Kiev with more snow. Still gray skies. Will be interested to see what it is like in the next region. Depends entirely on where we end up.
And then today in Kiev the skies cleared and we had beautiful blue, cloudless sky. Unfortunately, Cliff was the only one to get out in it. Viv is still not well. Fever today in addition to the cough and stuffy nose. So Emma and I stayed in with her. I think a day of rest did her a lot of good.
Grocery Shopping
Grocery shopping in Kiev can best be described as an adventure. We shop for a couple of days at a time, because we have to carry everything about 1/2 mile from the store to the flat (uphill and up the stairs).
The market is across the square from where we live. The grocery is actually located in the basement of a clothing store. Yes, you read that right. It is small and very close quarters. The organization seems a bit haphazard, but it is amazing the variety of products that are available.
The primary meat available is chicken. Some pork products also but little or no beef. I must admit we are getting very tired of chicken.
Not a lot of fresh fruits and veggies. Most is frozen and the selection varies from visit to visit. Fresh fruit is grown in Crimea (region in south Ukraine) or imported from Egypt, Lebanon or other warm countries. We generally have apples, small oranges and bananas on hand.
There is a lot of fresh looking bread and other baked goods. Not so great for us being gluten-free. But it is good to see it there for those who can eat it.
Probably the most unusual part of our grocery experience is having what amounts to stores within the store. Personal goods are in their own little section, and before you leave the room you must pay for your items. Same with fresh fruits and veggies (a small room that also houses nuts, honey and pet food). Any items not in their own little room are paid for as you leave the market. And you pay for bags to lug it all home.
All labels are in Ukrainian or Russian except for some recognizable brand names in English. We generally take a good guess off the pictures on the package and try to stay with things that don't require following directions in order to prepare properly. We've guessed fairly well so far.
Our main starch has been buckwheat. We could also choose rice or millet quite easily. Having never prepared buckwheat, I was glad to have our internet connection. Pretty tasty stuff and a common starch here in Ukraine.
Coffee and tea are big in Ukraine. Sodas are available but served room temp like in other parts of Europe. Coke is "Light" not "Diet" here. No one drinks the tap water, so we have to buy bottled water in addition to our food. That adds to the urgency of going to the store and to the weight of what we bring back.
When we were in the first region (for 2 whole days) the market there was more like a store in the U.S. - just MUCH smaller and no stores within the store. Less variety but still plenty to choose from.
If I can get some pictures of the market, I'll post them.
Friday, January 28, 2011
While We're Waiting
Last night I was cooking dinner and this song just popped into my head. I hope the video and lyrics come through.
No news yet on next appointment day or time. So still waiting. . . .
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Not Today, Not Tomorrow
I have been waiting to make this post until we know when our next appointment will be. Unfortunately, I still don't know. Just not today and not tomorrow. Zhenia says Tuesday, but we don't have official confirmation and a time yet. And it may not even be Tuesday. So we wait.
We spend most of our time at the flat. Our Nintendo DS systems will not charge here (yes, we have a converter, they just don't charge), my Kindle is messed up from the trip and not working properly, and until yesterday we had no TV. We've played a lot of Uno and other card games. And read, but we'll be out of material soon. We try to get out at least once a day to get some exercise and fresh air.
Current routine is to get up and have breakfast and get schoolwork done before lunchtime. After lunch get out and get active, do errands, etc. The sun rises here about 7:30am and sets about 4:30pm. We shop for groceries every other day. We don't want to have too much on hand AND we have to carry it all about 1/2 mile from the store to the flat (uphill, too). Our washing machine takes about an hour and a half to run a load, and then we have to hang everything to dry.
If I seem a bit out of sorts, I am just frustrated right now. Bureaucracy is no fun no matter where you are. And Zhenia has a much different idea of communication and preparation than we have. For example, our exercise today was to walk over to SDA by ourselves to sign something (I know not what) that is supposed to get us our appointment. We got a call, put on our shoes and coats, and left immediately. That's how we do things. Everything at the last minute. At this rate, we may not know when our appointment is until he is standing at our door to escort us back to SDA. Catty, I know. But I'm frustrated!
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